A Man Amongst Boys

[ed On the outside he makes an effort; his clothes, his face he cares about what his look says to the world, but he knows that this is not all that matters. He is smart, driven, and is not afraid of being ambitious. But what really makes him different is the way he carries himself throughout his life. He is polite empathetic, open minded and kind. He conducts himself with conviction and confidence, but is not afraid to learn and grow as a person.

This confidence to change and accept those who are different is what makes a man. So you want to know how you can emulate this level of appeal. Well here is how:

1. Take care of your body.

There is nothing feminine about taking care of yourself. Sometimes this means going to bed early, sometimes this means getting a facial. What matters is that you take care of your body, so your body can take care of you. It is not only about looking good; it is about feeling good, and living life to the fullest. So take that extra minute before deciding how to cut your hair at the barber, try on the clothes before you buy them and make sure you like how you look and feel in them, and don’t be afraid to take part in self-care and treat your body like the temple it is.

Self-care is something you can take part in, no matter where you are in your journey. Therefore take a few minutes when you wake up and check in on yourself and learn to meditate. Go ahead and plan out your goals for the week and put it on a wall near your work area to keep you focused. Fins a podcast on something you find interesting and just go on a walk and get some fresh air. These are little self-care practices that will add to the quality of your life, but won’t take up too much time or resources.

2. Your abs are not the only muscle people notice.

While taking good physical care of your body is important, and that can mean a good exercise regime; taking care of your brain is what really impresses people. Taking the time to invest in your knowledge is not only good for you, but it can help you in your career and relationships. Read articles about things that interest you, be it stalks, motorcycles, animals, or fashion. It’s noteworthy to learn more about the world around you. This will not only be enriching, but it will also allow you to better engage with the people around you.

Download some apps on your phone that you will actually use, and enjoy, for the purpose of personal growth. This may be the business insider app, or perhaps a podcast platform or trivia game. Use the resources around you to challenge yourself to learn more and develop your interests.

3. Find empathy.

Being able to look at a situation and see it from other people’s perspectives is not only brave, but is endearing. Take the time to learn about people with different backgrounds from yourself, as well as different situations going on in the world that you have not experienced. Being able to take a deeper look at global issues from other people’s point of view gives you the tools to understand people on a deeper level and build meaningful connections. Taking on new perspective will also add value to your life, and will probable make you a better employee, boss, friend, and significant other.

This can be in the form of looking into global issues such as civil wars and human rights issues, but it can also be about reading a book on a topic totally foreign to you. Maybe you choose a story about living in poverty, or queer issues, or changes in the environment. Go to a local thrift shop and pick up a book. Worst case scenario you have donated to charity.

4.  Embrace your feelings and passions.

The advice above is all valid, but only if you first take the time to get to know yourself. Who do you see when you look in a mirror? How do you feel about him? And even more importantly, is that ‘who you want to be’? Picture the man you wish you were and show up as him. You are in charge of your journey and how you manage the challenges you face. As scary as this may seem, as the captain of your own ship, you can change course.

Embrace you feelings, ambitious, hopes and fears; because when you do, you become a man amongst boys.

– Victoria Gawlik